You Know You're Obsessed With DQ When
by Crystal Silvera
Summary: I find the title quite self-explanatory . . . ways you'll know when you're obsessed Deltora Quest! I would love reviews, just because. XD Ideas, reviews, favorites and follows all appreciated! Very much a crackfic (well, if that's the word for a humor/parody fic). Complete!
1. One

**If anyone who's read my _Through the Eyes of a Stranger_ and is reading this, this is what I meant when I said I had a few ideas for one-shots. Probably not what you were thinking I would write, but I've had this idea for a while.  
**

**Also, I got the idea from DarkPaladin000 's _You know you're addicted to KTK when_, except this isn't Keys to the Kingdom. Thanks for the idea!  
**

**Disclaimer, no matter how much I want to own DQ, I don't.  
**

* * *

_You Know You're Obsessed With Deltora Quest When . . ._**  
**

1. The words "belt" and "pipe" have a new meaning to you.

2. You're suddenly interested in gems, especially topazes, rubies, opals, lapis lazulis, emeralds, amethysts, and diamonds.

3. Whenever you see the word "leaf" or "lief" (yes it's a word, I actually looked it up) you complain that it's spelled wrong and/or the "L" isn't capitalized.

4. The word "quest" always seems to stand out and remind you of Deltora Quest.

5. You wonder why there isn't an island named "Deltora", then declare that your map forgot about it.

6. Whenever you see a gem you wonder what its powers are, and if you can use them.

8. You try to solve riddles whenever you can, in case your life depends on it.

9. Whenever you read a book about another world you keep wondering why there just aren't enough monsters in it.

10. Whenever you head into a forest/wood, you bring earplugs in case there are Wenn around.

11. You hope to find Jasmine hiding there, or Kree or Filli.

12. When you were typing a fanfiction for DQ you realized "Del" was a word and looked it up.

13. You search the skies for flashes of color, indicating a dragon above.

14. Or you look out for passing Ak-Baba, and marvel how you never see them, then remember you're on Earth, not Deltora.

15. You want to go to Deltora so badly!

16. You think that swordplay sounds cool now.

17. Whenever you hear the word "palace" or "castle" or any other name for a building, you ask if it was built by Ralads.

18. When you see mountains, you immediately think that they're the Barrier Mountains and that the Shadowlands lie beyond them, so you like to stay away from them.

19. You somehow think that the Rithmere Games are related to The Hunger Games (with alterations). Maybe Suzanne Collins read DQ as well?

20. The word "forest" reminds you of the Forests of Silence, "lake" The Lake of Tears, "plains" Opal territory, "desert/sands" the Shifting Sands, "mountain" Dread Mountain (or #18), "cave/maze" the Maze of the Beast, "valley" the Valley of the Lost, and "palace/castle" the palace of Del.

21. You think that there's an underground sea and that you would meet groups of pipeplaying goblins there.

22. When you're in a cave, you wonder why there's no Glus nor gem-colored walls.

23. You're always aware of the northernmost, southernmost, easternmost and westernmost points of an area, and hope that you won't find any Sisters there.

24. You like to search the library, hoping to discover forgotten books, maps, or (most of all) hidden secrets.

25. When you saw the anime, you kept pointing out stuff that they changed, left out, or added.

26. Whenever you see rats, you wonder if Reeah will come and eat them.

27. Lilies remind you of the Liles of Life, and then you realize Gorl isn't guarding them.

28. You realized that "Glus" is just "slug" mixed around, because you've read the books infinitive times.

29. You want the Guardian's/Fardeep's riddle house thing (excluding the "pets")!

30. Whenever you see ravens/blackbirds, you hope that they're highly intelligent and try to get them to send your messages.

31. Or you hope that they won't get eaten by Thaegan.

32. You don't think melting a witch with water will work anymore - only spilling a drop of blood will!

33. You were so busy reading that you still didn't notice there was no number 7.

34. You went back to check.

35. You realized 7 is the number of gems there are in the Belt and the number of tribes, and you're laughing at yourself for missing such an important number.

36. You think people with masks on are the Masked Ones, and you should be _very_ cautious among them, even though your brain is screaming, "IT'S JUST MARDI GRAS!"

37. Dragons are no longer a threat - instead, you'd love to ride one!

38. Your friends/family [don't] realize you're trying to make/force them to read/watch the series, and you've actually succeeded.

39. Whenever you start talking about the books, everyone vanishes because they know you're _fully_ capable of rambling about Deltora Quest for quite a while.

40. You think that just maybe you're related to Adin. Hopefully.

41. You actually think some of those monsters exist, and are looking for Mere charms just in case of attack.

42. You honestly don't think that knights, catfish, bees, snakes, toads, or slugs are what they seem to be.

43. It would be fun to write/talk in code, then watch as the others try to figure out what you wrote/said.

44. You've searched all over the place for the _Deltora Annals_, becoming upset when they weren't there and screaming about how they had things that shouldn't be forgotten.

45. All those riddles just might have improved your IQ, and you like to tease others using them.

46. You know that "divide and conquer" always works thanks to the books.

47. Goblins are _not_ goblins - they're groups of Aurons, Plumes, and Keras!

48. You wish you could hop around in trees like Jasmine can.

49. And you wish you were as smart as Lief in the books.

50. Whenever you see white marble you wonder if it came from the same stone that Tora is built of.

51. You catch yourself trying to summon the dragons with your mind or repeating their names in your head.

52. You're now searching for double meanings in everything you read.

53. You have no idea how the Shadow Lord can create such complicated plans like the ones he used to conquer Deltora, but would love to do something alike.

54. People have asked you to stop your obsession, but you just say, "That's like asking me to stop living!"

55. You stare at moth's wings - if they have a message written on them, you know you've invaded Masked Ones' camp.

56. Whenever you're around bees you start screaming that smoke is the only way to calm them.

57. You call your enemies slimy Ols and laugh when they look confused.

58. You've asked to have a vacation in Deltora, then felt miffed when they asked where that was.

59. You actually took the Dragon Tribes test in _Secrets of Deltora_.

60. And lastly . . . you love the books even if they're "second grade level" and will gladly admit you're _OBSESSED_!


	2. Two

**I got some more ideas, so I decided to post another chapter! Thanks to Library2.0 and Guest for reviewing and giving me #s 61, 63, 83, and who inspired 84!  
**

* * *

_Starting where I left off . . . You Know You're Obsessed With DQ When . . ._

61. You try to talk to trees and animals, especially ravens/blackbirds.

62. You insist that ravens/blackbirds are highly intelligent, and wish you could attempt to send a letter using them.

63. Whenever you play 20 Questions and you get one wrong you scream, "OH NO NO NO NOT THE FINGERS!"

64. When someone says dragons are threats/evil, you object and get into a huge argument, which you usually end by confusing the other person with DQ references.

65. You HATE how they ended the anime series, which removes all chance of the second and third arcs being done in film version.

66. Whenever you hear someone say that DQ stands for Dairy Queen, you say, "No it doesn't, it stands for Deltora Quest!" (They say that here in the USA, I don't know if Dairy Queen is worldwide)

67. Whenever you're at a lighthouse you ask random people, "Anyone seen Verity?"

68. You hear the words "ghost ship" and think of _The Lady Luck_, then wonder if there will be puzzles and games on board.

69. You now know thanks to the books that gambling is absolutely unacceptable, and that you will lose every single time.

70. Whenever a red line appears under the words "Deltora", "Tora", "Shadowlands", or any other name/place in the series, you briefly glare at the screen and click "Add to dictionary".

71. It _is TOO_ true that you can live longer than 150 years! Just look at Doran!

72. You cried/screamed/yelled at the book/hurled the book across the room (okay maybe not _that_ drastic) when Endon, Glock, Doran, and/or Josef died.

73. On the contrary, you laughed when Neridah, Dain, any of the Guardians for both gems and Sisters, and/or Oacus [in the anime] were wiped out.

74. Whenever someone says "I feel doomed", you say, "Doom isn't here yet, he's busy with the Resistance."

75. When there is an essay question like "What, in your opinion, is the best way to overthrow tyranny rule? Include references to the previous chapter", you write, "Complete the Belt of Deltora and find the heir. Duh."

76. Shape-shifters, Animagus, or Animorphs will always be beaten by Level 3 Ols!

77. You like to say "Why in the name of Deltora" instead of any other options.

78. You start talking in 3rd person POV for your amusement, just like Tom does.

79. You've secretly forced your friends into reading the books, not caring if they called it "second grade level" (my friend's mom did)

80. You're suddenly curious about the art of metalworking.

81. Whenever someone drops food and they get off lightly you say, "That would've been _sooo_ different in Noradz . . ."

82. You're reminded of the Noradz people whenever you meet a clean freak.

83. Whenever you see mountains, you go, "Don't take the Belt across!"

84. When you receive stares, you say, "Oh come on, are there ANY Deltora Quest fans out there?!" and earn even more.

85. You would love to be able to jump around those trees like Jasmine can.

86. Whenever you hear of someone obsessed with fire, you automatically ask if it's a certain Sorcerer Oacus.

87. You have a weird feeling that Ak-Baba are related to vultures. . . .

88. You scream "THAEGAN DIED RIGHT AFTER THEY GOT THE RUBY! SHE DID _NOT_ COME BACK LIKE TWO TIMES!" whenever you watch the parts of the anime where they brought Thaegan back as fillers.

89. You wonder if Emily Rodda/Jennifer Rowe approved of the last ten or so episodes - the ones that were only in Japanese - because you thought they were plain dumb.

90. You are especially alert on the nights with a full moon.

91. You like to look at lilies and try to get some nectar from them.

92. When someone asks why you are attempting the above you say, "Oh I'm just collecting some precious nectar from the Lilies of Life, don't you worry! That is, unless you're Gorl. . . ."

93. Chief advisers are now evil to you . . . KILL THEM ALL!

94. Speaking of chief advisers, you think that Prandine/Fallow in the anime _seriously_ needs a pedicure.

95. You imply the fact that books can too be mistaken for weapons. Just look at what Prandine said when Jarred tried to show Endon _The Belt of Deltora_!

96. You have read any of the following: Rowan of Rin, the Rondo Trilogy, Raven Hill Mysteries, and/or _The Golden Door_.

97. You think grey + red = Shadow Lord symbols.

98. You laugh at how "Lief" sounds like "leaf", and kind of jump whenever someone says "leaf".

99. You warn pipe players not to let _anyone_ convince them to take their pipe apart - thus earning stares.

And lastly, the one _all_ Deltora Quest fans have been told . . . 100. People who care about you have told you to drop your obsession . . . but you refuse!

* * *

**That is the finale, since I'm totally dried out of ideas! Now, if anyone wants this to be continued, just leave a review or PM me saying so. It would be also _greatly_ appreciated if you gave me a few ideas like Library2.0 did! Once again, thanks to you all!**


	3. Happy Holidays!

**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, HAPPY HANUKKAH, OR ANY OTHER HOLIDAYS CELEBRATED AT THIS TIME! And sorry if I offend anyone, I really don't mean to do it! _PLEASE DON'T SEND OACUS'S MINIONS AFTER ME!_  
**

**So after I got a _bunch_ of reviews for this I decided to add another chapter! Thanks especially to all the wonderful reviewers who gave me a ton of ideas! 8D THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! And thanks to the Guest named Caitlin who pointed out that number 85 was similar to one on the first chapter XP I never noticed that . . . but thanks again! **

**Oh yeah . . . as a side note, I _just_ read _The Golden Door_. Here in the USA, our release dates are, like, an entire year later. /).- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGG GGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
**

**_THANKS TO:_  
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**Caitlin, who gave me numbers 101 thru 112! You are officially the person who's typed the longest review for one of my four stories!  
**

**CoquetteLullaby who gave me numbers 113 thru 118 and inspired 119!  
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**DoomedToBeACrazyFangirlForev er for reviewing!  
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**CrystalBud for reviewing!  
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**Pseudonymous for reviewing and giving me number 125!  
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**HiddenHero220 for number 128!  
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**And AriTeir for reviewing and I'm glad to inspire you to read the Deltora books again!  
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**PS: I apologize if I repeat something or missed anyone in the thank-yous above . . . I've re-read the previous chapters and reviews and I don't think I've repeated any or missed anyone. Enjoy!  
**

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101. For your school art project you drew the Pirran Pipe as a border and the golden door as a background.

102. Before you actually bought the books you got weird looks for carrying around 15 books to and from the library.

103. you actually counted how many books are in the series and double checked that you remember all the titles [and chapter names] before talking about the books to anyone.

104. You tried as many times as it took to hand draw/recreate the trust banner from the Isle of Illusion.

105. You dressed up as Jasmine for your school book parade/a dress up party.

106. You whacked your sister with the book when she asked what a "barda" was.

107. You went around singing the song about Thaegan's children to as many different tunes it took to find a good one and then continued for the fun of it.

108. Whenever you read Harry potter or Percy Jackson and hear the word centaur you think "untrustworthy little buggers" and look out the nearest window to check its not sunset.

109. You knew that Dorne was near Deltora before it was revealed in _The Third Door_ because you saw the names of Faene's parents and realized they were similar to those of the founders is D'Or.

110. You curse the Shadow Lord for invading Dorne and realize that he has now invaded at least three different islands and been driven out if all of them by a magic stronger than his own - you'd think he learned his lesson after being kicked out of Deltora twice and the island with the original three sisters that invading places is a _bad_ idea.

111. You suspected Olt had something to do with the Shadow Lord early on.

112. You are reviewing this on a school night while pretending to be asleep for your parents!

113. You've memorized all of the gems, the order, riddles, dragons' names, poems, and pretty much everything including Doom's gravestone.

114. You get mad at yourself for forgetting anything related to DQ.

115. You yell at the screen when someone does something stupid in the anime!

116. You noticed EVERY SINGLE ONE of the DQ references in _The Golden Door_. (YAY I'M NOT ALONE!)

117. You're still bitter about the anime (yeah I saw an image that said "These are the books. *Shows picture of books* And this is the crap we get. *Shows picture of anime*").

118. Your favorite deaths were Neridah's (and you still wish they killed her in the anime) and Dain's.

119. You think you should totally start a club called The Institution of Dain Haters (well there's one for Warriors called Institution of Nightcloud Haters, so yeah XD)

120. You've managed to get at least one friend/family or other person obsessed with the books, or to annoy another person by rambling about it like I do.

121. The dragon belief that to know one's name gives power over that one is _so_ true!

-Which is why you refuse to give your name to strangers, or give them a false one.

122. The words _Veritas Hopian Forta Fortuna Fidelis Honora Joyeu_ keep running through your head, or you chant it under your breath.

123. You took the Dragon Tribes Test in _Secrets of Deltora_ and now classify yourself by that, or assume someone's so-and-so by guessing what Tribe they're of.

124. Every time you're at a peninsula, you ask if it's Bone Point in a different form.

125. Whenever you hear the word "kin", you look up expecting to see one.

126. Voldemort reminds you of Dain in the anime . . . did anyone else notice that?

-You also noticed the comment on one of the DQ episodes that goes something like this: "Hey Dain, you know who else hasn't got a nose? Voldemort. It's safe to say you can't be trusted."

127. Whenever you can, you do a book report on one of the books and then confuse the class by rambling on about it.

128. _Ravens_ are used to deliver messages, JK Rowling, not _owls_!*

129. Cute little fluffy animals all remind you of Filli (has anyone figured out what he _is_, exactly? I saw what I BELIEVE is a hint in _Secrets of Deltora_, but that's all I've got. If anyone wants the page number, I'll be glad to PM it XD)

130. You believe that you'll be smarter when there's a full moon.

131. You're _certain_ that Delta Airlines has passageway into Deltora, because of their name.

132. You tried writing in Ralad symbols. . . .

134. Horses keep reminding you of muddlets

-So you ask, "Are there any three-leggers here?" and get lots of weird looks.

135. Your friend says that you have DQS - Deltora Quest Syndrome. Which majority of DQ fans out there do.

136. You nearly always end up talking about DQ with friends, which really annoys them.

137. Whenever you're visiting a desert, you scream, "WATCH OUT FOR THE HIVE PEOPLES!"

138. The word "sisters" make you automatically think of the Four Sisters

-Which is funny if you actually have sisters, like I do.

139. You're _still_ trying to figure out how to pronounce "lapis lazuli" properly, because you don't want to offend the Mere

-Because they have some very bad ways of killing you, such as dumping you into the Shifting Sands.

140. "Merely" is _not_ based on the Mere - and you know not to ask because you know about their tempers.

141. Fleet = D'Or and the famous Fleet horses = the famous D'Or horses. Anyone see a pattern?

142. You're still confused about what someone would do in Deltora if they had to go to the bathroom really bad (LOL XD)

143. "Trio" reminds you of Lief, Barda and Jasmine and no one else. Okay, maybe a few other trios . . . really, what _is_ it with trios?

144. You _really_ don't like anything that's grey and red.

145. You noticed the DELTORA thing with the gems before it was revealed in _Return to Del_.

146. You're amused that Jasmine and Sharn are the only smart ones in the anime, while everyone else is pretty much stupid.

147. The reason you're reading the Underland Chronicles is _not_ because Suzanne Collins wrote it, it's because it was suggested on the DQ website!

-Same goes for anything else suggested on the website, like Keys to the Kingdom.

148. You've given yourself a Deltoran name to use in case you ever go there.

149. Whenever you see a dragon, you squint at it and mutter, "Hmm, which gem does it belong to?"

-And when it doesn't resemble any Deltoran dragon, you declare it an Ak-Baba.

150. You want to learn to play a pipe so that you can compete and try to become Piper.

* * *

**Once again, THANK YOU TO ALL YOU WONDERFUL REVIEWERS, FAVORITERS AND FOLLOWERS! Without you guys, I would've stopped this right after the first or second chapter. THANK YOU SO MUCH!  
**

***Does anyone else think that it's funny that animals are used to deliver messages? In the Rondo books there were messenger rats. . . . :P**

**I don't own Deltora Quest (books and anime), The Three Doors Trilogy, Harry Potter, YouTube comments/commentors, the Underland Chronicles, Suzanne Collins, Keys to the Kingdom, dragons, Delta Airlines, or anything else mentioned in here! _Especially_ not the Shadow Lord's fashion sense, and thank goodness for that!  
**

**REVIEW? PLEASE? 8D  
**

**And enjoy the holidays, don't get into trouble with any Grey Guards like I did!  
**


	4. First Chapter of 2013!

**I got SO MANY REVIEWS! 8D THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! **

**So I just wanted to credit my friend who came up with DQS, number 135 on the previous chapter. She says I have it, and it's very true :D  
**

**_THANKS TO:_  
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**Library2.0 for reviewing_  
_**

**Ari-Teir for reviewing and suggesting number 152  
**

**DoomedToBeACrazyFangirlForev er for reviewing and giving me numbers 153 thru 160 and inspired 161  
**

**Happy 2013! :D  
**

* * *

151. You don't say follow/following - you say _fallow/fallowing_!

152. You've scoured the books endlessly but you _still_ can't figure out if the the Dread Gnomes are actual gnomes or just call themselves that.

153. Being afraid of "The Dark" has a whole new meaning.

154. You try to talk to trees.

-and black birds, disregarding the fact that ravens are considered able to smell death and crows are believed to be unlucky . . .

-oh, and squirrels.

-actually, just any type of small forest animal.

155. You shrink away in fear when someone says they have "blisters."

156. When riding horses you always yell out "Abra!" to go and "Cadabra" to stop.

-_speaking_ of that, there was a hilarious YouTube comment: "Abra=go. Cadabra=stop. What does Alakazam do?"

-and one brilliant reply to that comment: "Alakazam=sleep."

-(Abra, Cadabra and Alakazam are all Pokemon, and they're all evolutions of Abra. Which is even funnier because Oriental Lights and Magic, the animation company for Deltora Quest, _also_ animates Pokemon.)

157. When you wash your hands you randomly call out "scrub and scrub" in a monotone voice.

158. Whenever you see a rat you yell, "Quick! Hand me the fire beads!"

159. When you see someone's Kindle, you immediately think of Lief's stuffed toy.

160. Whenever you see a mountain, you think that there is a giant toxic toad inside.

-or Gnomes. . . . with poisoned arrows.

-basically, you think that mountains should be avoided.

161. You were briefly confused at why a bunch of people spelled "Lief" as "Leif"

-that misspelling's _everywhere_ - YouTube, FanFiction . . .

162. Whenever someone asks, "What's the password?" you scream, _"WEAPON, IT'S GOT TO BE WEAPON!"_

-which, of course, gets you some pretty confused stares

163. You are _SO_ ANNOYED at the fact that 99% of the DQ fanfics are LxJ fluff, including _the most reviewed_ DQ fic!

-_I_ most certainly am!

164. Door keeps on reminding you of D'Or or The Three Doors Trilogy

-there's a city called D'Or? Should we knock?

165. If you live in the USA like I do, then you are _INFURIATED_ that the releases of the books here are _over a year later than the Australia releases!_

-here, _The Golden Door_ came out in October, 2012! **WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!** There isn't much difference between the USA version and the AU version!

166. You're incredibly wary with your food and water.

-(SPOILER ALERT FOR _The Sister of the South_!) and when people ask why you're so cautious, you say in a low voice, _"It was Paff! She started the Plague and poisoned everyone!"_

167. You actually try and see if a tree is friendly or not.

168. You scream, "GRIPPER FIELD!" at ordinary leaf-covered places, then run away telling everyone to "Beware of the Gripper field!"

169. You've tried a million times to copy the covers or pictures of any DQ book, then looked at the drawing and muttered, "No, it's not good enough . . ."

170. You have a strong suspicion that Rin, like Dorne, is also close to Deltora. . . .

171. You got annoyed when your friend called it "Deltara Quest" and chased them around with one of the books, screaming, "IT'S _DELTORA_, NOT DELTARA!"

-well, I did

172. Nests keep reminding you of Jasmine's home - she called it a nest, after all.

173. You _seriously_ don't like shadows.

174. You've imagined the other two arcs in anime form while you were bored

-in my version, Forta [the dragonling] was so _cute_!

175. You want to see a copy of a DQ book in another language

-it keeps talking about how they were translated into more than thirty languages . . . would the gem thing (how they spelled DELTORA) work out in, say, Chinese?

-on a side note, it actually wouldn't. I'm Chinese, I should know.

176. You like to talk the way Deltorans do

-you know, without using "don't", "won't", "can't", etc.

177. Whenever your friends are sharing riddles with each other, they're mainly listening to you rattle off DQ riddles.

-the one about the king's dinner usually works to baffle them enough (it's from _Cavern of the Fear_ ;D).

178. You caught the hint about Lief's age in _Isle of the Dead_ and your jaw dropped when it hinted that he was eighteen

-_already?! _Time truly flies . . .

179. Every time you see horses, you half expect the stable owner to try to sell you some muddlets.

180. Whenever you read a book that has evil dragons or involves killing dragons you panic and start staring bug-eyed at the book

-because _Deltora_ would've never survived if it weren't for the dragons!

181. You like making up rhymes that are prophecies

-or chant the Sisters rhyme on the map with the Sisters' locations - I do that to confuse and scare people

-it works!

182. Whenever you see a snake you run, babbling about how Reeah's come to kill you

-same with knights, catfish, bees, toads and slugs (I just used Reeah because I think he's EPIC!).

183. You think Deltora Quest deserves more attention than it does right now!

184. Annoying, flirty girls remind you of Neridah

- . . . I can't really think of traits that would remind anyone of Dain, but you get the point.

185. Whenever you're reading a book that involves finding an heir you immediately think that it's the main character

-actually, this proves true a lot of times.

186. You've seen Deltora Quest fanart

-look up "Deltora Misadventures" on deviantart. There are some funny results XP

-thanks to nimbi-piru, who suggested I do that! She wrote "Deltora Misadventures: Everyone wants to be Lief!" It's really good and a great crackfic in my opinion!

187. You're still mad at the animators for making all the characters except Jasmine and Sharn more stupid

-in the books Lief was so smart . . . WHAT DID YOU ANIMATORS _DO_ TO HIM?!

188. Whenever you see someone with a scar on their face you ask them if their name is Jarred

-or you ask them if they'd like to be called Doom

189. You wonder why Deltora doesn't celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving and other holidays except Dragon Day

-NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE BY WHAT I JUST TYPED!

190. The word "fear" makes you think of the Fear.

191. Lords are also evil, like chief advisers . . . only you're scared to try to hurt lords, seeing that the Shadow Lord had so much power.

192. Whenever you're in a palace/castle, you ask people to take you to King Lief

-I _really_ want to try that!

193. You didn't know how to pronounce "Lief" at first.

194. You would make fun of Lief's name but you're scared to oppose the king of Deltora

-it would be worth it though to see the look on his face . . .

195. Whenever someone says "tribe[s]" you immediately reply, "Topaz, Ruby, Opal, Lapis Lazuli, Emerald, Amethyst and Diamond! There, I've done it!"

-which leaves them _baffled_ at why you've just recited a bunch of gems' names.

196. Whenever you're walking on a road you ask why the Torans can't use their magic to speed you up.

197. Whenever someone says they have (a) sister(s) you freak out and ask, "Which one? North, south, east or west? And how come Lief missed them?!"

198. You want to ride a dragon, despite what everyone else believes!

199. Whenever you hear the phrase, "Don't play with fire," you wonder if Oacus ever heard that one

-considering he's a fire sorcerer, probably _not_.

200. Whenever someone tells you there's been a seaquake, you ask if that was the one that crashed Deltora and Pirra together

-and get a confused look and the answer, "No . . ."

-in which you sigh and reply, "Well, I guess I must've missed it."

* * *

**TWO HUNDRED ALREADY! I'm so happy, I never thought it would go this far! 8D without you, wonderful reviewers, favoriters, and followers, I never would've done it and given up earlier! Thank you thank you thank you all! **

**Should I go up to one thousand ways you'll know you're obsessed with DQ? If I get enough suggestions and ideas, I just might! :D tell me in your review, your wonderful, amazing reviews! Please review! XD  
**

**And a belated happy new year to everyone! It is now officially year of the snake! (Chinese zodiac :D)  
**


	5. Late & Short Update SORRY

**A/N (with disclaimer and credits) below the actual chapter! ;D**

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201. Whenever you hear the name Fili from _The Hobbit_ you automatically think of Filli from Deltora Quest and you smack yourself when you remember that they're two different characters and that Fili from _The Hobbit_ is a DWARF, not a cute, adorable furball

-I _still_ don't get why they drew Filli as a furball with a ponytail and tail in the anime . . .

-oh, and to the people who wonder what the heck Filli is: I think I've found a hint in _Secrets of Deltora_, page 46!

202. You noticed right away that Emily Rodda also had Marc McBride do the illustrations for _The Golden Door_, which helped you conclude that Dorne must have _something_ to do with Deltora

-I'm not so sure about _The Silver Door_ and _The Third Door_ though, although that's likely what happened . . . did he illustrate those too?

203. You've looked for the Deltora Quest DS game until you realized it was only released in Japan, and nowhere else

-at least, in my knowledge. But I find it illogical that they didn't release it in Australia, where Emily Rodda lives and DQ is surely bound to be quite popular.

204. To annoy people, you suddenly start humming the DQ opening/closing theme song

-or the Thaegan riddle. Both work - I've tested them.

205. You're particularly alert for mirages/illusions at sunset

-then you remember you're not looking at Broome. . . .

206. Whenever you're watching the anime you wait until the credits part and stare intently at the names of the voice actors

-I saw a comment saying how Lief's voice actor sounds so feminine. I think it's a bit true, especially after hearing the Japanese voice actors.

207. You also noticed how in the anime they said "Ak-Babas," and how that wasn't in the book

-in the book they just said "Ak-Baba" as plural.

208. YOU WANT MORE DELTORA QUEST FANFICTIONS TO READ!

209. Whenever someone says "isle" you finish for them, "of the Dead. And we can't go there, a Kobb's made its cave in that place!"

210. For some reason, you keep trying to find the dead center of random stuff

-actually, after reading the Dragons of Deltora arc, I'm sure that we _all_ have good reasons to do that. . . .

211. You wholeheartedly support the quote "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup"

-then again, where would you be able to find _ketchup_ in Deltora?

-Well, you can certainly try to get some at the Del market, if you'd like lots of weird looks.

212. When you see someone or a couple that you just_ really_ don't like and immediately think, _must be Ols . . ._

-then you freak out if they have a mole or freckle or something.

213. Whenever you see something in the store that looks like one of the gems from The Belt of Deltora, you immediately buy it without a second thought.

-Thanks to this, I have a developing obsession for [semi-]precious stones. Anyone else out there similar?

214. For the definition of quest, you wrote "A search involving three people who try to find seven talisman gems and the heir of an islandic country."

-Well, I didn't actually write that but I would, given the chance!

215. You've gotten someone else obsessed with Deltora Quest.

216. People have called you crazy/weird for being obsessed with a series that's second grade reading level

-as I say, don't judge a book by its cover _nor_ its reading level!

217. Instead of asking for regular money, you [want to/have a strong urge to] ask for gold, silver, or bronze coins.

218. Whenever someone sees the series you're so obsessed with and they say, "Pssshh, second grade books," you reply, "Never judge a book by its cover nor its reading level!"

-Seriously, when they do that, I just don't get it!

219. Phantom of the Opera just reminds you of the phantom guardian in _Shadowgate_

-_I_ should know, my friend is a PotO obsesser! (I am to DQ as she is to PotO. . . .)

220. You've searched "Deltora Quest" on Google/Yahoo/whatever other search engine when you were bored.

-(Which is actually how I even discovered there was an anime - through Google Images!)

221. Whenever you hear about/see a diamond, emerald, lapis lazuli, topaz, opal, ruby, or amethyst, you ask if you can use its powers (or you really, _really_ want to).

222. You're determined to re-start the DQ era

-which is what I'm doing - I've forced three other people to read it, two of which now really like Deltora Quest!

223. You wish you could randomly find out you're the heir to the throne of Deltora

- . . . is that a possible career choice? 'Cos if it is, I am so there!

224. Whenever you see dragons that aren't the Deltoran type, you start trying to classify it into a tribe by its scale colors.

225. You really, _really_ want your own special magic abilities!

226. You noticed right away that Nevets was Steven's name spelled backwards

-no idea where this came from, but I think I saw a YouTube comment about how they felt so stupid about not realizing that sooner.

227. You are HIGHLY irritated that they didn't kill off Neridah in the anime!

228. Any annoying/flirtatious girl reminds you of Neridah

-well, let's say I _really_ don't like Neridah. . . .

229. Regardless of the mountains' real name, you rename any mountains you see as the Barrier Mountains.

230. Whenever you come across the mention of specially bred killing machines, you think, "Vraal!"

-A lot of other series involve lethal animals. Sadly, none of them are like Vraals.

231. You start to get very suspicious around any number of wolves at or less than thirteen

-and it would be even scarier if _Thaegan_ was with them!

232. Ravens are smart. Period.

234. Whenever you're reading a book [series] that needs a _few_ more monsters, you tell it to go take a leaf out of the DQ books

-FIGURATIVELY, _NOT_ LITERALLY!

235. You keep using the codes in Deltora Quest to write notes to your friends

-which, of course, confuses everyone except you and whatever other DQ fans you know.

236. "Leaf" is now an unacceptable name for other characters

-Keys to the Kingdom anyone?

237. The names of all horses are Honey, Bella, or Swift. Period.

-Depending on what coat they are. Someone remind me what color coat Bella had . . . white, right? I know that Honey's a palomino and Swift has a black coat. . . .

238. Whenever you just want to _blast_ someone, you mutter some random words/parts of words and then scream, _"THAEGAN!"_

-Especially effective on, say, Halloween or something.  
239. You've used Deltora Quest as a subject of rambling for long periods of time

-extremely useful in annoying/confusing/making people think "What the freak"!

240. And lastly . . . the thing that drives all us Deltorans nuts - DELTORA QUEST IS SO UNDERRATED!

* * *

**Firstly . . . _AAAAAGGGGGHHHH I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE!_ I was sick for a week and a half, then I had to do makeup work, and then I realized that people were waiting for me to update my _other_ two stories - and then, _perfect_ timing, writer's block hits out of nowhere! I'm so sorry for keeping everyone waiting! D8**

**_Good_ news: One thousand ways it is! :D Thanks to everyone who's reading this, because that either means you're still with me or you've reviewed, favorited or followed - or you've read all the way through this fifth chapter, which is quite an accomplishment!  
**

**THANKS TO (and my review replies are here too):  
**

**Library2.0 for reviewing  
**

**DoomedToBeACrazyFangirlForev er for reviewing, and why thank you! :D  
**

**HarmonySoundown for reviewing, favoriting and following, pointing out the fact that it is indeed year of _Reeah_, and giving me number 201**

**RaineYlevol for reviewing and giving me number 212 - and believe me, I can _totally_ believe that about everyone can relate to this XD  
**

**JustAPasserby for suggesting number 213! And yes, there_ are_ lots of Deltorans out there - if you know where to look! ;D one of the places is on DeviantArt (I don't go on there but someone told me about this), there's a group called Deltora Made Awesome  
**

**Veneesla for reviewing and favoriting! And I haven't read _The Silver Door_ nor _The Third Door_ yet . . . sadly. D: But someone else told me it says full-out in _The Third Door_ that Deltora is near Dorne. Or something. Plus, I emailed FanFiction asking them to add on an archive for The Three Doors Trilogy. And I don't think they have one. YET.  
**

**MouthOfLightning for reviewing, and yeah I think most of us know that :P**

**Blaze-Cloud for reviewing, and I AM A WARRIOR FAN! 8D (It's on my profile XD) OH MY GOSH I'VE READ _Swordbird _and _Sword Quest_ too! (Hey, there's a third book y'know! _Sword Mountain_! It's good - 'bout the eagles. ^^) And yeah, it's okay if you liked the anime a lot - I liked it too, which therefore gives me endless rights to criticize it perpetually. ;D Also, as for Warriors, could you do me a huge favor and read my _The First Four_? It's okay if you don't want to, but if you have time. . . . 8D  
**

**_Disclaimer, DQ belongs to Scholastic and Emily Rodda/Jennifer Rowe:_  
**

**Random person: If you were rich enough to buy anything in the world, what would you buy?  
**

**Me: THE COPYRIGHT OWNERSHIP OF DELTORA QUEST BOOKS AND ANIME! And believe me when I say there will be changes going on! ;D Sadly, I'm _not_ infinitely rich, so DISCLAIMER!**

**And before my A/N gets longer than my actual chapter . . . REVIEW! Or I'll set a Vraal on you! Once I work out that world-hopping device, anyway . . . but still, REVIEW! PLEASE!**

**(Honestly, I got a review from a non-Deltoran, and then I see all these views of people I'm _quite _sure are Deltorans, but the ratio of views to reviews is way too off for my liking. Just, REVIEW!)**


	6. Another Rather Short Chapter

241. You only remember your birthstone because it corresponds to one of the gems (Dragonraptyr)

242. You know the Shadow Lord's real name, and that he's related to Thaegan (Dragonraptyr)

-AAAAHHH SO MANY SPOILERS -! I haven't read _The Silver Door _nor _The Third __Door_ yet!

-Although, the Shadow Lord being related to Thaegan . . . geez, why am I not surprised?

243. You love the fact that the Three Doors is set in the same reality as Deltora! (Dragonraptyr)

244. You memorized all the answers to all the riddles (Dragonraptyr)

-and majority of the riddles themselves!

245. You know all the creatures by heart (Dragonraptyr)

-and use them in your talk, i.e. my little review-or-I'll-set-a-Vraal-on-you threat in the previous chapter!

246. You want a novel tying Rowan of Rin to Deltora Quest! (Dragonraptyr)

-There's actually a fanfiction for that! But I think it's discontinued or on hiatus . . . (Rowan of Rin/Deltora Quest crossover)

247. You want a live action movie (or a redo of the anime series). That's actually _good_. (Dragonraptyr)

-They need to redo a _lot_ of adapted-from-a-book movies!

248. Whenever you see a spring surrounded by trees, you immediately want to drink from it to see if it's the Dreaming Spring (The Imaginatrix)

-and look for the sign, too. Always obey signs, people.

249. You also want one of your enemies to drink it to see if they turn into a tree. (The Imaginatrix)

-(So convenient!)

250. You warn people that stealing diamonds is a BAD idea. (The Imaginatrix)

-Also considering how many people steal them . . . yikes. May bad fortune go with you, thieves.

251. You wish Emily Rodda would write a book about Emlis's adventures, because you're so sure the underworld has more secrets than we learned in the second series! (The Imaginatrix)

252. You don't like touching opals. (The Imaginatrix)

253. You want to know what Fortuna was singing in "Shadowgate" when she was flying toward the Sister of the North. (The Imaginatrix)

-(She was singing? Gotta reread. . . .)

254. You start avoiding cupcakes in case they were poisoned. (The Imaginatrix)

-Oh dear, I ate one this morning . . . eek!)

256. You are very cautious around quaint little cottages in the middle of the woods, especially if they have a lush green lawn all around them. (The Imaginatrix)

257. You think jack-in-the-boxes are ill omens after reading "The Sister of the South". (The Imaginatrix)

-And very creepy. Lief, you are not alone and you did _not_ overreact!

258. You REALLY don't like putting on masks, especially if they're really good ones that look like animal heads. (The Imaginatrix)

-I freak out at masks in general now. . . .

259. You're very careful what promises you make, in case a certain redhead is in your vicinity to bind you to them. (The Imaginatrix)

-AAAAAHHHH~!

260. You wish Australia had made the series into a TV show, whether animated or live action, because you KNOW they would have done all three series!

261. You listen very carefully to blind women in case one of them is Ava. (The Imaginatrix)

-If she is . . . I'd definitely want her to tell me my future! Ava, you are _amazing_!

262. You either avoid forests, lakes with big rocks in the middle, ruined cities on islands, etc., or you seek them out in case you can find the gems there. (The Imaginatrix)

-If you do seek them out . . . look out for the guardians!

263. You don't trust everything you see. That's dangerous. (The Imaginatrix)

264. You wish you could go to either Tom's or Ava's shops just to find out what you'd get as a free gift if you bought something from them. The gifts are probably more awesome or useful than what they can sell you. (The Imaginatrix)

-Water Eaters would be _so cool_!

265. You will never name your son Jack, or your daughter Kirsten. (The Imaginatrix)

-Ugh, I'd die before I did that . . . !

266. You wish you could come up with codes as easily as Lief and Doom seem to.

-(I tried that. It's sooooooo much harder than it looks.) (The Imaginatrix)

267. You really wish Verity hadn't died, because she was so awesome. (The Imaginatrix)

-_Agreed!_

268. You take note of everything in case something that seems insignificant will become vitally important later. (The Imaginatrix)

269. You're extremely wary around people you don't know

-after all, they can be Shadow Lord servants, Ols, or just plain old baddies in disguise. . . .

270. Now something that annoys all Deltorans to death: When you have to explain the characters to other people and they ask, "Lief? What kind of name is that, like a tree?" And you yell back at them like, "Lief is the greatest King ever to live! He saved Deltora three times, woke up the seven tribes of dragons and put together the Pirran Pipe. And it's not Leaf, it's Lief! L-I-E-F!" (Echobaby123)

-And what annoys me even more? When they answer, "Still a stupid name." My reply is usually something along the lines of, "DIE, TRAITOR!"

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**And that ends my rather insane and short chapter - and the beginning of my A/N, which probably will turn out to be longer than the actual chapter -_-**

**Replies to reviews:  
**

_**DoomedToBeACrazyFanGirlForev er: **_XD Everyone we hate is an Ol in disguise - don't deny it! [Semi-]precious stones are the BOMB. 8D A bracelet modeled after the Belt?! Shoot, why didn't I think of that? :D Very cool! You're welcome! ;D

_**Dragonraptyr: **_Oh gosh, you're right . . . my bad! So to everyone out there: mistake on chapter three, number 108 - the Capricons are indeed fauns and satyrs, _not_ centaurs! (Well, I hadn't read Percy Jackson when the reviewer suggested it to me, so that's my excuse . . . XP Up to date though, I finished the series! :D)**  
**

**_Library2.0:_ **I'm still in shock and extremely annoyed/depressed that they didn't kill off Neridah. -Glares at animators of Oriental Lights and Magic [who animated Deltora Quest]*

_**Veneesla: **_I want to read the rest of The Three Doors Trilogy _so badly_, but IT STILL DIDN'T GET RELEASED IN THE USA YET. D8 I want to go to Australia just to get to a proper bookstore! Ooh, so other fans caught on too? 8D YEEEEESSSHH I AM A GENIUS! 8D Now I feel so smart XD Yeah, I emailed them in . . . January? Anyway, it's been a long time. ._. And thank you! (As for the Vraal, his name's Fred and I brought him back as a souvenir from my trip to the Shadowlands! {Yeah, in my dreams . . . T.T})**  
**

_**Echobaby123:**__AGREEEEEEEEED!_ I _HATE _having to explain it! They always make fun of the name and I'm like, "DIE!" Thank you!

_**SomewhatCrazyOwl:** _Glad it worked out in Norwegian, but the thing is I don't know how it'd work in Japanese or Chinese . . . I'm Chinese and I know that there are no letters in Chinese and Japanese is derived from Chinese - there's a lot more I could say, but basically it would _not_ work in Chinese.**  
**

_**SpringRiverImagination: **_XD When I first came up with that idea, I was like, "Is that a bit . . . stupid? Eh, it's the number seven, we all know that's an important little number!"**  
**

_**The**** Imaginatrix:**_ Oh thank you! :D I try to be funny as I can, but I re-read what I've written and I always whine to myself about how horrible my writing is. XD

**THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED, FAVORITED, AND FOLLOWED! YOU GUYS ARE MORE APPRECIATED THAN YOU KNOW! 8D Also, _special thanks to The Imaginatrix, who PMed me a _ton_ of ideas! __THANK YOU! _All of you people are the ones who keep me writing! 8DD **

**(Also, reviews make my day, non-reviewers! ;D)**


	7. Seven, the Announcement

**Hai guys! Sorry for not updating (at all) . . . I've run out of ideas, sadly, BUT I'm starting another DQ crackfic. Well, if that's what you call humor/parody fics on here. XD**

**So, basically, this is the glorious end of _You Know You're Obsessed With DQ When_, but also the start of _Deltora Quest Reads Deltora Quest_! :D Yes, that'll be the next fanfiction I'm taking on, mainly because of Echobaby123 thinking I'd already written it. X3 So special mention goes to her!  
**

**I'll upload the first chapter as soon as I finish it! :D (Sometime this week or next week, depending. I've been held up by a lot of unexpected things this summer . . . Which is why I've been neglecting FanFiction. D:)**

**I'm kind of disappointed we didn't get to 1000 (okay, fine, _very_ disappointed), but hopefully _DQ Reads DQ _will make up for it. :3 I assure you the next fic will be just as funny as this one, if not funnier! (And it'll be better quality, since I've improved since I last updated this XP)  
**

**And last but certainly not least, thank you all for sticking with this story far enough to read this! 8D I had no idea when I started this story that I'd get so many reviews and suggestions and support! :D So a big thank-you to everyone out there!**

**Look out for _Deltora Quest Reads Deltora Quest_, where the characters will probably die of embarrassment and we will die of laughter. ;D**

**~Crystal Silvera, Jun. 24th, 2013**


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